Heal thy self

Words I have a feeling I may need to remember frequently in the next 3 years. I am TIRED. So here's the scoop: Being an intern is hard. We have a team that has a "light load," meaning we have fewer patients than normal. This is great for me as a new intern. The catch is, I am terribly inefficient, slow, and my medical knowledge is best described as "rusty." There are several things I know I know, but my brain just isn't clicking. What's really hard is how difficult it is to picture that knowledge growing. I cannot possibly see how my brain is going to retain so much in so little time. I know it will happen, it has to happen, right?

The other really hard part is missing and worrying about Jordan. As busy and tired as I've been, I am pretty sure it is amplified about 7 times for her. I am sure she is doing great and I have come home both days so excited to hear how her day has gone (someone was a primary surgeon on a C-section today!!!!!!! I have to brag about my wife!)

I think I have to end this entry here because I am not really sure what I just said and I am practically falling asleep at the keyboard. Early morning tomorrow.

~vaya con dios

Here we go

Tomorrow. I can do nothing but stare at that word: "Tomorrow." I don't particularly have much to say, other than to ask for your thoughts and prayers as Jordan and I officially begin our careers as physicians tomorrow. Here goes nothing...

Crossroads

It's here. I am a resident physician. Those words keep resonating in my head. How is this possible?! Tomorrow will conclude my first week of my first full time, salaried job. The week has been a little more tough than I anticipated in some ways and better in other ways. I am having to get up early again and this is just reaffirming my fears about sleep (or lack thereof). Starting orientation so early has been tough for me. I have just come to terms with the fact that I like my sleep. That has been one of the tough parts. The other tough part really happened today. We had a day-long series of lectures and group sessions on critical care. During the lectures, we were all realizing the magnitude of our responsibility. We are expected to know more, to do more, to take responsibility. We will be pushed in a way we have never experienced. The fear of the unknown has been consuming this week. I think I just need to start already! Anyway, the whole point of this little rant is really for myself. I am curious what I will think next year when I am looking back. Will I laugh and think, "It wasn't that bad," will I think to myself, "I had no clue what I was getting myself into?," or more likely it will be some other response I can't even imagine?

My last thought is a verse an old friend from high school had posted on her facebook today. The verse really spoke to me and I think it is something I will use a lot in the coming year: 

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths. -Proverbs 3:5-6

 ~vaya con dios

"Life doesn't end on June 23rd, son"

Thanks Mom, you are completely right! The other day I was talking with her about all Jordan and I have been doing getting prepared for residency. I was telling her the things we were doing around the (new!) house, the shopping that needed to be done, and the hours of fun and entertainment we have been having, all as a part of "getting ready to start residency." When she so astutely told me that I was acting like I thought I was dying on June 23rd or something, I realized, she was right! I had been taking the approach that I needed to get it all done. I was trying to have fun while I still could. I was getting matters in order. Once I realized she was right, it seemed a lot easier to just change my attitude and enjoy. So here is a list of all the "things we need to do before the apocalypse" :

Stock up! We decided it was appropriate to stock up on groceries and household items since we are unsure of how often we can go. We recently became members of Costco, so a large shopping trip was easy.  Boy did we ever shop. After all, who can possibly make it in this world without 6 tubes of toothpaste? 

This picture was one I took at Costco to send to my mom showing her that Kudos do in fact still exist, in bulk!

Seeing my grandparents for graduation. Do I even need to say more? It was so wonderful to see them, I love them so much! This picture is actually from a long time ago, but it always makes me smile!

Flea Market?! I hadn't been to a flea market since I was a little kid when my mom and grandparents would take me. It was actually pretty fun. I think the highlight for me was watching some guys stack about 10 mattresses in the back of a tiny little truck and try to tie them down. Classic.

 
Time with friends and family. Earlier this year, we had decided to buy tickets to a show at Red Rocks with Kathleen and Chris as sort of a last hooray in case we matched in a different city. Since we ended up staying, it was more of just a super awesome show with super awesome friends. We saw John Butler Trio for my first ever concert at Red Rocks, and they were fantastic

R

Rockies. What's a summer in Denver without going to Rockies games? Jordan and I went last night to see Ubaldo pitch and it was a blast! The game was delayed about 2 hours for rain. They managed to start the game and then it poured! We had so much fun, even though Jord was freezing.

The rain ponchos are so dorky, but they worked great.

I suppose that is all for now, but I definitely wanted to share what we've been up.

~vaya con dios