39 days!

39 days and counting. WOW! In just 39 short days I will be standing in a hospital with my first job as a physician with real responsibility and a signature that ends in MD (actually my signature will end in MD in less than 2 weeks!) I am pretty sure I have never experienced the level of anxiety, nervousness, and anticipation I am currently experiencing. I think the reason it is all hitting me right now is because it is so real. I have filled out the hours of paperwork that come with a real job. I now know which service I will be starting with (I will be covering a medicine team that takes care of under served patients both on a general medicine floor and in the ICU, I think). And most of all, it is only 39 days away! With residency fast approaching, Jordan and I have been trying really hard to cherish our time and just enjoying life together.

Looking forward to residency isn't the only thing keeping my mind preoccupied these days. As this next chapter of life is getting ready to begin, I have found myself reflecting on the chapter that is now ending. Med school has brought so much change to my life, I hardly recognize it anymore. The personal growth I have experienced is more than I ever could have imagined at the beginning. One story I want to share that I think sums up a lot of struggle I have experienced so far (and I know I will continue to experience). The following is taken from my personal statement that I had to write for residency applications:

     
  "Identifying a patient as a unique individual is an easy concept in theory, but is exquisitely difficult in practice.  It is far too easy to think of a patient as a diagnosis rather than as an individual. Take for instance, Mr. N., a severely ill patient with AML. Instead of a father, a brother, and a veteran, he became “AML guy,” a title that overlooked his individuality. Every day while I tried to convey treatment plans to “AML guy,” he would tell stories of friends, families, relationships, losses, and personal struggles. I became invested in his story, and through our conversations, I realized that what was important for Mr. N was not necessarily a cure. What he valued was to see his granddaughter graduate from high school. After long discussions with this patient, his treatment plans changed, and his demeanor and outlook immediately improved. I am grateful for Mr. N. He reminded me that I must maintain my focus on compassion, patient autonomy and strong communication in order to become a good physician and maintain patient-centered care."

Whether it's looking back at my medical school, or looking forward to starting life as a physician, I feel pretty blessed and lucky to have such wonderful support. You all mean the world to me, thanks for reading!

~vaya con dios